Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Lindsay Lohan makes progress but not her parents!

Lindsay Lohan makes progress but not her parents!
May 31, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay, Dina and Michael Lohan

We’ve been pretty happy about Lindsay Lohan hunkering down and taking her rehab seriously, and not just because we’ve ran out of ways to say “TURN IT AROUND, BITCH!” We’re honestly, genuinely happy she’s taking responsibility for herself. But of course, something has to go wrong, so here come her parents of the year Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan to take a big crap all over her progress by refusing to play nice for Lindsay’s family therapy sessions. TMZ reports …

Sources tell TMZ, Dina and Michael were taping a segment for The Test — a conflict-resolution talk show launching this fall that uses lie detectors and DNA tests to settle disputes — when things went South. We’re told things started out great — but soon the finger pointing began … and when the topic of infidelity came up, the gloves flew off. According to sources, both Michael and Dina accused each other of lying about their past … as well as who’s really responsible for Lindsay’s downward spiral … and the whole thing ended in a firestorm. We’re told Michael took two lie detector tests, but Dina refused to take any.

SERIOUSLY? Seriously. For once in her life, your daughter is taking legitimate steps to rectifying her behavioral problems, and you’re going to ruin that because you’re both complete assholes? Oh my God, you two are the worst parents ever. Like EVER ever. There are animals that eat their own young who make better parents than you. You two make Joan Crawford look like Carol Brady.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.