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Here come the lawsuits from Lindsay Lohan!

Here come the lawsuits from Lindsay Lohan!
February 2, 2012 JEREMY FEIST
Lindsay Lohan

As anyone with a See ‘n Say knows, the cow goes “moo”, the duck goes “quack”, and the Lindsay Lohan goes “I WILL SUE YOU! *Snort*”. So of course Lindsay is whipping out a lawsuit against RadarOnline after they ran a story about how eye witnesses allegedly saw her “on something” at Chateau Marmont, where she is currently living. Oh yes, did we mention she’s living right above the most famous bar in Hollywood? Because she’s living above the most famous bar in Hollywood. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan says there’s NO TRUTH to reports she was boozing at a SAG Awards after party this weekend … and now, TMZ has learned, she’s threatening to SUE the media outlets that published the story in the first place. A source close to the actress tells TMZ … Lindsay is already exploring her legal options with her attorneys … because she feels the false stories are sabotaging her effort to save her career. Lindsay acknowledges she WAS at the party at the Chateau Marmot hotel in Hollywood Sunday night … but insists she was sitting with Alan Cummings the whole time and ONLY drank water.

Of course, this begs yet another question: Specifically, why in the name of sweet baby fucksauce would a respected actor like Alan Cummings allow himself to be seen with Lindsay. The more I think about it, the more I realize that Lindsay is trying to revive her career by sucking the careers out of respected, talented actors like Shang Tsung sucking the souls out of the other Mortal Kombat fighters. Although if Mortal Kombat has taught me anything, it’s that she’s easily beaten by getting her tipsy, then pressing down-left-right-punch to FINISH HER! … I may be confusing video games with reality again.

Lindsay Lohan