Oh my gosh, it finally might be happening: Lindsay Lohan may finally, really, ACTUALLY be going to jail. It turns out that Lindsay is “serious” about her probation now (we’ll see how long that lasts) and she reportedly will concede she violated her probation and just get her punishment out of the way. Except hold on a second, last time Judge Stephanie Saunter said that if she ruled that Lindsay did violate her probation, she’d be going to jail. Except oh wait, this is Lindsay we’re talking about, so she’ll probably be in there for all of two minutes. TMZ reports:
Sources tell us Lindsay’s strategy — courtesy of Shawn Chapman Holley — is to show the judge she is now really, really serious about complying with the terms of her probation. She’ll come to court armed with proof she’s logged in 24 hours of service at the morgue — way more than the 16 hours the judge required before Wednesday’s hearing. And Lindsay still has time to put in more time. Lindsay’s plan has its risks — she faces well over a year in jail if the judge throws the book at her. We’re told Lindsay is hoping for minimal jail time — two weeks — which would actually be way less because of overcrowding. The wild card, of course, is Judge Sautner, who made it clear at the time of sentencing … if Lindsay violated probation she would go to jail. Based on the judge’s statements … it’s unlikely Lindsay would score a 2-week sentence.
Look, I will give the barest minimum of props to Lindsay for complying with what the judge told her to do, because if her behavior so far has proven anything, it’s that she prefers to look good rather than actually do good. She doesn’t have any desire to actually benefit society, so much as she just wants to get people on her side. If she’s actually serious about this, she’ll take the full sentence. Go to jail. Do not just crap out with a tiny little jail sentence for the long, long history of screwing up you’ve done. And if nothing else, you’ll be in jail during the same time your father is! It’s like a Lohan family reunion. If you’re lucky, Dina Lohan might even sneak you in a spoon she smuggled up her vagina. “All right baby, just use this to tunnel out, and then it’s over to Penthouse to show the world your b-hole!”