Mothers, lock up your sons! And your daughters! And your Fudgie the Whale cakes. Lindsay Lohan is out of jail bitches, which means shit is about to go down! … Oh, wait, no, it actually looks like she’s going to rehab. Hold on, I’ll go set the countdown clock for when Dina Lohan (aka ‘White Oprah’) starts yapping about how they’re treating Lindsay like a common drug addict. Tick tock tick tock.
Lindsay Lohan has been released from jail, but she’s not exactly a free woman. The actress was discharged at 1:35 a.m. Monday after serving 14 days of a 90-day sentence for violating her probation in a 2007 drug case, a sheriff’s spokesman said. She is now required to begin a three-month stint in rehab. A prosecutor has said that Lohan cannot be released early and will have to spend the entire time in treatment. SOURCE
Rehab? Awwwww man! I know Dina was so looking forward to taking Lindsay out for a celebratory night on the town. You know, have a couple drinks, do a little blow, steal someone’s car while the passengers are still inside and drive it through the front door of a Carvel ice cream shop. You know, just a classic mother/daughter bonding experience.