oh god, they let lindsay lohan out of her cage!

oh god, they let lindsay lohan out of her cage!
August 2, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

Mothers, lock up your sons! And your daughters! And your Fudgie the Whale cakes. Lindsay Lohan is out of jail bitches, which means shit is about to go down! … Oh, wait, no, it actually looks like she’s going to rehab. Hold on, I’ll go set the countdown clock for when Dina Lohan (aka ‘White Oprah’) starts yapping about how they’re treating Lindsay like a common drug addict. Tick tock tick tock.

Lindsay Lohan has been released from jail, but she’s not exactly a free woman. The actress was discharged at 1:35 a.m. Monday after serving 14 days of a 90-day sentence for violating her probation in a 2007 drug case, a sheriff’s spokesman said. She is now required to begin a three-month stint in rehab. A prosecutor has said that Lohan cannot be released early and will have to spend the entire time in treatment. SOURCE

Rehab? Awwwww man! I know Dina was so looking forward to taking Lindsay out for a celebratory night on the town. You know, have a couple drinks, do a little blow, steal someone’s car while the passengers are still inside and drive it through the front door of a Carvel ice cream shop. You know, just a classic mother/daughter bonding experience.