Bummer. That shit’s really going to cut into her plans to attend the Grabbys this weekend. Oh well, que sera and all that. Anyhoo, as we previously mentioned, Lindsay Lohan has basically been sentenced to a month-long vacation due to her misdemeanor theft charge from earlier this year, and while I initially thought this would mean two blessed weeks without the bitch, chances are Dina Lohan’s either going to run her mouth constantly about the whole thing or Lindsay’s going to find an exciting new way to fuck this up.
Lohan arrived to the Lynwood Jail at 5:02 AM this morning to check in — where she was fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet. She was quickly sent home to her pad in Venice, CA and we’re told she’ll spend roughly 35 days in confinement. According to the booking sheet, 24-year-old Lohan was listed at 5’7″ and 117 lbs. The sentence stems from Lohan’s legal troubles involving a necklace she allegedly stole from a Venice jeweler. Lohan pled no contest in the case. SOURCE
Once again, what the sweet holy hell? The bitch was originally supposed to serve four months in jail, and instead she gets to sit in her beautiful home for a month with all the necessary amenities to keep a girl happy. This isn’t even a slap on the wrist anymore. This is the equivalent of getting a Swedish massage with a happy ending. Curse you, devil handjobs!