Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Lindsay Lohan is late for court!

Lindsay Lohan is late for court!
March 18, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

UPDATE: It’s official, Lindsay Lohan is late!

Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan missed her plane to L.A. for her court date because she’s LiLo, and it would be more surprising if she ever showed up anywhere on time and behaved herself than if she just showed up two hours late and soaked in gin. Well, Lindsay decided to book another plane ride, only to get off that one because she thought the plane was unsafe, all before she convinced an energy drink company to loan her a private jet. What are the odds she’ll return the plane filled with cigarette butts and shredded furniture? “It was like that when I got her. I’m Elizabeth Taylor,” she will probably say, before doing vodka shots out of a hollowed-out black box. TMZ reports…

As TMZ first reported, LiLo hopped off her scheduled flight from New York to Los Angeles just before take off last night because she felt the plane was unsafe. Lindsay eventually found a flight, tweeting at around 4:00 AM PT and thanking Mr. Pink — an energy drink company — for lending her a private jet. According to our sources, the flight won’t land in Los Angeles until around 6:30-7:00 AM PT … meaning Lindsay has roughly 1.5 hours to make it to court, which starts at 8:30 AM PT. It might be enough time, but you have to factor in that Lindsay needs to make herself “camera ready.”

Coincidentally, Lindsay is also currently facing the maximum sentence in her trial, which I’m going to assume is entirely because Lindsay doesn’t have Shawn Holley representing her anymore. “Let’s see … she’s going to barely make it to her court date, she’s being chauffeured over by a d-list energy drink, and the only thing standing between her and maximum jail time is an incompetent lawyer who thinks Lucky Rabbit Feet are real? This is almost worth the $300,000 she still owes me. Almost.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.