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Lindsay Lohan is going to hang with Charlie Sheen before rehab?

Lindsay Lohan is going to hang with Charlie Sheen before rehab?
March 22, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Remember how earlier this week I made a joke about how Lindsay Lohan was basically going to cram alcohol into her before she went to rehab the same way a college student crams before a test because LINDSAY LOHAN? Well, like most of my jokes about LiLo, this one came true: According to Page Six, Lindsay is planning on spending a week with Charlie Sheen before she goes to lockdown rehab/jail, which must be like getting a cheat sheet before your final exams.

Lindsay Lohan’s court-ordered date with rehab isn’t stopping the fallen starlet from making high-flying plans before she’s required to report to a facility May 2. A flabbergasted source close to Lohan told us: “Lindsay’s pre-rehab plan? A week with Charlie Sheen in LA, then she wants to go to Brazil. I kid you not.” Her plans with Sheen include a guest appearance on his FX series, Anger Management. The job next week will take two days to shoot, though we hear Lohan will stay in LA for at least an additonal week after copping a plea Monday to spend 90 days in a rehab to avoid jail. In the Anger episode with Sheen, “He’s a therapist, and she’ll play a patient who falls in love with him,” Lohan’s lawyer Mark Heller told Page Six. Heller didn’t get back to us about her Brazil plans.

On the plus side, I’m pretty sure nothing will convince a person that moderation is good and drug abuse is bad like spending a week with Charlie. Unless of course your dream is to some day get picked dry by a trio of women who pretend to be in romantic love with you because you basically ejaculate BMWs and sacks of under the table cash. In which case, follow your dreams!

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.