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Lindsay Lohan is facing eight months of jail!

Lindsay Lohan is facing eight months of jail!
Lindsay Lohan

In the past year, Lindsay Lohan lied to police over wreckless driving, punched a woman in the face (allegedly), and was the central suspect in a theft case that was dropped after the guy who got robbed conveniently refused to press charges. In a logical universe, LiLo would actually be forced to serve the eight months of jail time after her probation is revoked tomorrow, but this is reality, so Lindsay will probably be forced to watch an episode of Oz before the LAPD takes her out for Dairy Queen. TMZ reports …

Law enforcement sources connected with her most recent case tell TMZ … when Lindsay is arraigned Wednesday for allegedly lying to cops and reckless driving in connection with her car accident last June … the judge will revoke her probation in the jewelry heist case and set a date for a hearing to formally decide if Lindsay violated the terms of her probation by breaking the law again.

We’re told the hearing will be conducted at the same time Lindsay stands trial on the criminal charges. And get this — even if Lindsay is found not guilty in the criminal case, the judge can still rule she violated her probation because the standard of proving a probation violation is significantly lower than proving guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. The stakes for Lindsay are high — up to 8 months in jail, and that doesn’t include jail time if she’s convicted in the car accident case.

Sources tell us … the L.A. City Attorney is “out for blood” and they will file papers Wednesday asking that Lindsay’s probation be revoked. Fact is … the judge does it on her own … the prosecutors don’t even have to ask for it, but their voice will certainly be heard.

Wait, do they actually think Lindsay will actually have to answer for her actions? HA! Adorable. No, Lindsay has done way worse than this, and faced zero repercussions from it. Let me break down how this will go: I’ll end up camping by my laptop for the better part of a day so I can watch Lindsay traipse into the courthouse in a $10,000 outfit, her lawyer will somehow manage to get her out of it because the woman is legal genius, and Lindsay will go back to being stunt-cast in B-movies. If this doesn’t happen exactly as I described it, I will punch myself in the mouth.

Lindsay Lohan