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Lindsay Lohan is a meteorologist now

Lindsay Lohan is a meteorologist now
Lindsay Lohan

If you’re on the east coast, then chances are you’ve looked outside and gone, “Wow, it looks like total butt-soup out there.” And right on Halloween too … CURSE YOU, HURRICANE SEASON! Anyway, because Lindsay Lohan somehow figured that having a Twitter account means she’s an expert on everything, she decided to weigh in on all this “hurricane” nonsense you’re all so worked up about. I mean really, it’s just some wind! It’s not like a little wind has ever hurt anyone, right?

Think positive and pray for peace? Really? I’m not sure what’s going on in Lindsay’s mind right now (although I’m assuming it’s over-the-counter) but if I had to guess, Lindsay is under the impression that The Secret works and we can just think away a tropical storm, or she thinks we’re at war with Hurricane “Sally” and we just need to organize a peace protest. “I’m gonna stay in bed until America and Sally learn to live together in peace and harmony. Also because I set up a mini-fridge where my night stand used to be and filled it with gin. I’ll never have to leave the house ever again!”

Lindsay Lohan