Lindsay Lohan got into a hit and run?

Lindsay Lohan

UPDATE: This just in via Lindsay’s Twitter account …

Scrape? This is all a complete lie. I’ve been at community service. Last night, I attempted to wish a friend happy birthday, which I didn’t even get to do because I was freaked out by all of the paparazzi. These false accusations are absurd.

GOD. DAMMIT. Once again, Lindsay Lohan did the whole song and dance of “Oh no, really, this time I’m going get my life back together!” and like a moron I was all like “Doy, yeah I believe that.” Idiot. So what do I see first thing I wake up this morning? Other than my boyfriend’s cat screaming for food again because she’s the worst? Lindsay struck a guy with her car last night, outside of a club, and she drove away. For those of you keeping score at home, Lindsay lied about not going clubbing anymore, and now she just got into a hit and run, which means her probation can be revoked. IDIOT. TMZ reports:

Lindsay was in her new Porsche when she left the Sayers Club in Hollywood at just after midnight Wednesday. We’re told she was driving out of the parking lot when she was blocked by paparazzi and bystanders around the nearby Hookah Lounge. Lindsay made contact with the manager of the Hookah Lounge with her car and then peeled out. The plot thickens … Sources tell us, the club manager who Lindsay struck has gone to the emergency room and we’re told he is going to press charges and hire an attorney. Cops told us they will open a hit-and-run investigation if the manager files a report.

Once again, this is why I have a tendency to go after Lindsay pretty hard: not because I hate her or anything, but because for fuck’s sake, she should be better than this. How can someone be this stupid? I don’t care anymore, just throw the bitch in jail for all I care, because at this point, coddling her isn’t going to teach her to stop acting like such a dumbass.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.