WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want to miss out on Coachella!

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want to miss out on Coachella!

Lindsay Lohan

Because Lindsay Lohan is a moron, she made sure that her lawyer Mark Heller brokered a plea deal for her so that she would only have to go to imaginary fake lockdown rehab after going to Coachella. Once again, LiLo will never see the irony in that because she is a moron. Did we mention that? That Lindsay Lohan is a moron? Because Lindsay is a moron. RadarOnline reports…

“Lindsay was adamant that she not be forced to go to rehab until after the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in the Palm Springs area on successive weekends in April. Lindsay LOVES going to the musical festival, and she’s determined to go this year. She didn’t want a little thing like rehab to get in her way of attending. Linds refused to sign off on any deal that would have prevented her from going to Coachella, period. Yes, it’s that important to her, for some strange reason,” a source told RadarOnline exclusively.

I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that Coachella is where former Disney starlets go to do MDMA white chocolate in public. Because LiLo loves white chocolate. If anything, we could possibly say that Lindsay eats too much white chocolate and should really consider going to rehab so that she can address her white chocolate problem.

JEREMY FEIST
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.