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Lindsay Lohan denies going clubbing after being sentenced to rehab

Lindsay Lohan denies going clubbing after being sentenced to rehab
March 20, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday, paparazzi pictures of a mysterious woman ducking in a Mr. Pink van outside of a bar made their way onto the web, and everyone assumed it was Lindsay Lohan because that’s the most Lindsay thing we’ve ever heard. It would surprise us more if someone hiding from the paparazzi outside of a bar on the evening of Lindsay’s rehab sentencing wasn’t LiLo. So of course, she went on Twitter and claimed that it wasn’t her …

Once again, does she seriously expect us to believe that? This is such a fundamentally Lindsay move that she may as well have left behind a cocktail napkin note.

Hey guys, I know you think that beautiful, famous person you just photographed was me, Lindsay Lohan, but she wasn’t. It was someone else. Liz Taylor, perhaps? I can see why you would think that we’re the same person because we’re both talented award winners. Also, does anyone know how to get a child out from underneath your car? I ran a stoplight a couple blocks back, and now he’s stuck underneath my- Oh, wait, never mind. That speedbump took care of it for me. So in summation: I am not Lindsay Lohan, I am Elizabeth Taylor. Love, Lindsay “Elizabeth Taylor” Lohan.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.