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Is Lindsay Lohan worth two million bucks?

Is Lindsay Lohan worth two million bucks?
July 16, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Despite the fact that Lindsay Lohan has been quietly plugging away in rehab while her lawyer and savig grace Shawn Holley makes sure that she sees the whole thing through, a report from a “source” close to Lindsay who “smells suspiciously like gin” is telling TMZ that Lindsay is finalizing a deal with Oprah Winfrey for an interview/reality series on OWN, and is demanding $2 Million for it.

Lindsay Lohan’s guts don’t come cheap, because we found out she’s spilling them to Oprah at a cost of around $2 million. Sources close to Lindsay tell us … The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) has been negotiating with Lindsay for four months. The plan — an eight-part docu-series about Lindsay’s struggles, her career and her plans for the future — but we’re guessing it’s mostly about her struggles.

Hmmmm, I wonder who this mysterious source close to Lindsay could be?

Oprah: Hi Lindsay thanks for meeting with me.
???: Yes, that’s me. Lindsay Lohan. Who is I.
Oprah: Uh … huh. Anyway, I can offer you the $2 Million you asked for-
???: Make it out to cash. Or you can pay me in gin.
Oprah: Didn’t you just get out of rehab? Wait … is that a wig?
???: I’m not Dina! (*Jumps out of a window*) I’D RATHER DIE THAN EARN MY OWN MONEY!
Michael Lohan: (*Walks in wearing a red wig*) Hi, I’m Lindsay Lohan. Female Lindsay. Give me money.
Oprah: Go home Michael!
Michael: Fair enough.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.