So I’m not sure if you heard about this, but Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be in court today for a hearing related to that one time where she punched a psychic in the face. Remember when LiLo punched a psychic in the face? Good times, goooooooood times … well, turns out Lindsay’s still in London, and while pulling a no-show in court would normally be a huge screw up for your average Joe, Lindsay somehow lucked out, because the prosecutors delayed the investigation. TMZ reports …
Lohan was scheduled to make her first court appearance for the nightclub fight she got into with a woman back in November. LiLo allegedly punched the woman in her face, then got arrested and booked for 3rd degree misdemeanor assault. This morning prosecutors announced, “The investigation into this case is continuing.” Good thing, since Lindsay never made it to the courthouse, and it was touch and go if she’d make it anyway … since she’s been hanging in London for the last week.
No, seriously, did Lindsay blow a genie or something? Because that’s the only way this could possibly make sense.
Genie: Okay Lindsay, you get three wishes-
Lindsay: NEVER-ENDING VODKA.
Genie: All right, that’s one-
Lindsay: GIN.
Genie: Are you sure you don’t want to wish for, like, world peace or-
Lindsay: GIVE AMANDA BYNES CRABS.
Genie: Are you serious? Fine. You used up all your wishes. Just let me get back to my lamp.
Lindsay: If I blow you, can you make it so that I never have to be held accountable for anything I do?
Genie: … sure, why not.