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Lindsay Lohan was a mess on ‘2 Broke Girls’

Lindsay Lohan was a mess on ‘2 Broke Girls’
March 14, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Enty Lawyer from Crazy Days and Nights, the Hollywood gossip blog that I regularly read for the ‘Blind Items Revealed,’ apparently got to attend the filming of CBS’ 2 Broke Girls the other night, which featured a guest appearance by Lindsay Lohan. Now remember, Enty Lawyer is one of the most prolific gossip bloggers and Lindsay is … well, Lindsay. Trying to be professional. And an actress. Guess how that went? Well, according to Enty himself, it was a trainwreck, and you best believe he let her have it. You really should read the whole thing, but a few choice missives here …

On Lindsay’s delivery:

Red hair. Lips so plumped out she couldn’t really get them open because of her botox which also caused her to have trouble pronouncing certain words. Of course she won’t be able to pronounce anything if she keeps smoking because her voice is rapidly disappearing into some type of screaming smoking raspy hell hole.

On memorizing all of Lindsay’s lines:

Yes, I know that line and the other lines. I heard them and heard them and heard them. This first initial half of a full scene had about five lines from Lindsay. It took about 45 minutes to shoot because she never could get through without screwing up. She would get one line and screw up another. There was some combination that she always managed to find that she had not done previously.

And the final piece de resistance:

So, there was one big scene left with Lindsay. She is in a wedding dress and has cold feet about the wedding. She has six or seven lines. 45 minutes later when the audience can see the finish line of this scene a cell phone starts ringing. Loudly. “I’m sorry, that’s mine. Hello. I have to call you back.” Yes, it was Lindsay’s phone. One more time through the last part of the scene. Ten more minutes gone from my life.

Seriously, go read the entire thing for yourself. And then when you’re done, check out the blind items revealed. Oh, that is a veritable gold mine it is. Anyway, according to Enty, everyone else was at the top of their game, and that Lindsay was the weakest link. I’ve been giving Lindsay a lot of slack, mostly because I’ve been grading her on the lowest curve possible, but girl. Really. Professionalism isn’t just about staying clean, it’s about knowing your gawddamn lines and blocking. If you can’t get that down, maybe stick to Lifetime movies.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.