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Lindsay Lohan wants to be a stage actress now?

Lindsay Lohan wants to be a stage actress now?
June 19, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

You might remember this, but the last few times Lindsay Lohan was actually required to act, she was either an irresponsible mess or an unprepared disaster who somehow turned what should have been a short cameo shoot into a drawn-out clusterfrak. Well, because people will never learn, now she claims she’s going to be appearing in a stage production of Speed-the-Plow in London, so just imagine all of that in one continuous take in front of a live audience. From NY Times

Ms. Lohan said that she has been in London for several months, preparing for a potential appearance in David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow in the West End in November. “It’s the first time I’ve done a stage play or anything like that,” she said. “I’m nervous but I’m excited.”

Hoo boy … all right, for those who’ve never done a stage play, I’m going to tell you right now that’s a maddening endeavor that requires nerves of steel and a discipline to match. LiLo has neither. If anything, she’ll probably get tired by the second act, kick someone out of their seat, and spend the rest of the performance either heckling or talking on her cell phone. Possibly both. “Hold on, let me call David Mamet… Hello, David? I’m just calling to tell you your play sucks! A book on radiation would make a terrible movie! There’s no part for me to play Elizabeth Taylor! ‘Kay, talk to you soon, bye.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.