Lindsay Lohan wants money from ‘Grand Theft Auto V’

Lindsay Lohan wants money from ‘Grand Theft Auto V’
December 2, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Oh Lindsay Lohan … you were doing so well! You were being professional and mature, and you weren’t publicly making an ass of yourself. And now you’re suing the makers of Grand Theft Auto V because you think they based a character off of you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, we liked it better when you were doing the exact opposite of what you are currently doing. TMZ reports …

Sources tell us, Lohan’s lawyers are currently crafting a lawsuit — demanding Rockstar Games pay some serious money for using Lindsay’s image in the game. So the question … did GTAV really use Lindsay. Here’s the evidence:

  • The video game cover shows a woman holding a cellphone who looks Lindsay-ish. There’s been debate over whether it looks more like Kate Upton or Shelby Welinder.
  • Part of the game features a mission where a Lindsay Lohan look-alike asks the player to take her home and escape the paparazzi.
  • Another part of the game shows another Lindsay-like character at a hotel resembling the Chateau Marmont hotel in West Hollywood — a place Lindsay not only frequents but once lived at — and the mission is to photograph her having sex on camera.

As Seanbaby pointed out on Cracked, Grand Theft Auto V has all the comic subtlety of a Wayans Brother fart, so I’ll be the first to admit that in all likelihood, they probably had Lindsay and a few other starlets in mind when they wrote that character. That being said, why would you draw attention to that fact? Why would you look at a mess of a character and think “That’s me! LAWYER POWERS ACTIVATE!” I guess what I’m trying to say is, just stop. Please don’t do what you’re doing anymore.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.