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Lindsay Lohan: Trying to use her ‘miscarriage’ in court

Lindsay Lohan: Trying to use her ‘miscarriage’ in court
May 14, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

I’ve been putting off talking about Lindsay Lohan‘s supposed miscarriage for a very good reason: Because it’s a very, very serious issue and I wanted to make sure I got enough facts about the situation before I jumped to any conclusions. Thankfully, that time is now, and the conclusion is that Lindsay is an evil demon who devours love and excretes lies. Case in point, she tried to use her miscarriage to get a judge to overturn the ruling on one of her many lawsuits (this was the one about her clothing line). Naturally, the judge did the fair thing and asked her for medical documentation or some form of validation so that he could actually take it into consideration, so now Lindsay is crying privacy over the thing that she brings up on her own when pressed for an explanation. Via TMZ

We broke the story … Lindsay is trying to overturn a $5 million judgment she lost over her 6126 clothing line. Lindsay flaked by not filing proper legal docs, so the judge entered a default judgment. Lindsay wants the judge to undo the judgment, because she was dealing with all sorts of drama, including her disembodied embryonic cells. So the opposing side wants to put her under oath and test her truthfulness about the alleged miscarriage, but Lindsay is balking … her lawyer saying, “The court does not need the media circus that would ensue if counsel is allowed to invade Lohan’s privacy and delve into her mental state regarding her sobriety and miscarriage.”

All right, so given the current set of circumstances and Lindsay’s history and yadda yadda yadda, we now have to accept one of two possibilities:

  1. Lindsay actually had a miscarriage which she would like to keep private except when she can conveniently use it as a get out of jail free card.
  2. Lindsay lied about one of the worst things that can happen to a woman because she not only never learned about personal responsibility, but has in fact figured out that denying any and all culpability is beneficial to her level of fame.

Either way, the ultimate conclusion is that Lindsay is awful.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.