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Lindsay Lohan’s laptop was stolen!

Lindsay Lohan’s laptop was stolen!
January 8, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Welcome to the moment before the sh!t hits the fans: Lindsay Lohan‘s laptop was allegedly stolen in an airport in Shanghai, China (where she just picked up some kind of fashion award) and according to TMZ, there’s a ton of nude photos and celebrity emails on that thing, which I’m sure won’t ever be leaked onto the web or … oh, no, I’m guessing that’s exactly what’s about to happen.

Why, you ask, is she so freaked out? We’ve learned she had a bunch of nude photos of herself. She claims they’re all from various photo shoots that were never supposed to be released. Again, when an actress is asked to take her clothes off, usually no good comes from that. And there’s more … We’re told Lindsay claims she has “private correspondence” from a bunch of famous people, including Woody Allen and Lady Gaga, that she wants to keep under wraps.

All right kids, three lessons we can glean from this here:

  1. Never keeps photos on your laptop you wouldn’t want leaked onto the internet.
  2. If you are walking around with a repository of nude photos you never want anyone to see, never take your eyes off of it.
  3. Seriously Lindsay, why would you keep everything from your former mess days on an easy-to-steal laptop? I mean really.

PHOTO | TWITTER

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.