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Lindsay Lohan got drunk-dialed by Dina Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan got drunk-dialed by Dina Lohan?
July 22, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Dina Lohan

Apparently, part of Lindsay Lohan‘s rehab therapy is that she needs to talk to her mother, presumably to tell her that she’s a complete failure as a parent and that Lindsay would have been better off if she was raised by a hot water heater. Well, because everything Dina Lohan knows about motherhood was obtained from watching Teen Mom on a muted dive-bar TV, Dina ended up calling Lindsay up drunk during one of her therapy sessions. TMZ reports …

Sources tell us shortly before Lindsay’s birthday, July 2, Cliffside rehab facility got Dina on the phone — so LiLo could have a conversation with her. But we’re told the person from the clinic who spoke to Dina believed she was hammered, and quickly nixed the idea of letting her speak to Lindsay. Furthermore, we’re told the rehab team felt it would be best for LiLo’s treatment if she stopped talking to Dina altogether for the rest of her stay.

The funny thing is, nothing will sober a person up more than forcing them to consider Dina. Think about it: You like drinking and you don’t know how to do so in moderation? Then congratulations! You’re going to end up like Dina. You’ll be an internet punchline, your kids will grow up to resent you, and you’ll mostly be known as a colossal failure. All of a sudden, ordering a mocktail doesn’t sound so bad.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.