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Lindsay Lohan failed to show up to The Life Ball

Lindsay Lohan failed to show up to The Life Ball
June 3, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Lindsay Lohan

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Lindsay Lohan was supposed to show up for a big, expensive charity event. The event even paid for her flight, her hotel room, and got her the biggest dressing room they could get their hands on. Lindsay thanks them by not showing up like an asshole. I know, we’ve heard this story a million times before, but this time it’s The Life Ball in Vienna, so let’s run with it anyway. Page Six reports …

Lindsay Lohan was a no-show at Saturday’s Life Ball in Vienna, Austria. “At the beginning of the day, they handed out a list of the dressing rooms,” says a spy. “Lohan had the biggest one blocked off for her. But by the end of the day, when they handed out updates, she was off the list. She never showed up.” According to a source, flights and hotels were paid for by the organization, and Lohan missed her flight.

For the record, The Life Ball is one of the biggest HIV/AIDS fundraisers in Europe, and brings in big name singers, gay icons, and even Bill Clinton. And Lindsay couldn’t even be bothered to get on her free airplane to fly to her free hotel because … I don’t know. How much gin do you need running through your veins before any of that makes sense? Trick question! The answer is ALL OF IT.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.