Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Lil’ Wayne signed Paris Hilton to Cash Money

Lil’ Wayne signed Paris Hilton to Cash Money
May 23, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Paris Hilton

Remember when Lil’ Wayne released Tha Carter III and everyone hailed him as a musical genius? And then he basically drowned that critical goodwill in a bucket of cough syrup and bad auto-tuned rock music? Yeah, say goodbye to the rest of Lil Wayne’s credibility as an artist, because he just signed Paris Hilton to his record label, Cash Money. TMZ reports …

Lil Wayne’s crew just signed Paris Hilton to a record deal … and she’s planning on dropping a brand new album in the very near future!! Wayne’s mentor — Birdman — confirmed the news on Twitter … saying, “Lil Wayne’s Cash Money family has a new member! Paris Hilton: RichgangRichgirl.” According to Showbiz411, Hilton’s album will focus on house music — no surprise, since she’s been DJing at various clubs all over the world … and training with some house music bigshots for years.

Well, pack it up everyone. Music is dead. We can all go home now. Lil’ Wayne and Paris just destroyed an entire art form. And then they peed on its grave. And then they dug up the corpse of music and used it to recreate Weekend at Bernie’s and its lesser sequel, Weekend at Bernie’s II: Seriously, How Is This Guy’s Body Not Mulch? That’s how terrible this is.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.