Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Let’s just get Kim & Kanye’s stupid wedding out of the way …

Let’s just get Kim & Kanye’s stupid wedding out of the way …
May 26, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

There really isn’t any reason why we should be posting today: It’s Memorial Day, and even though I’m in Canada, this still kind of applies to me. But still, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s marriage happened in Italy, and we just all have to pretend like this is an important thing that happened instead of the set-up to a fabulously prolonged divorce. Anyway, yeah, they got married. It was presumably a gaudy mess that they will turn into a reality TV spectacle because they’re soulless husks, and Kanye gave a wedding speech that was pure, unadulterated derp. Us Weekly reports …

At one point during his remarks, West, 36, mentioned “public warfare,” and then talked about the perks and pitfalls of celebrity. “They feel like it’s okay to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in an SNL spoof,” he said, per the observer. “We don’t negotiate. We’re not like that. We’re not stupid.” A little while later, he added, “The Kardashians are an industry!”

He also spoke about his and Kim’s inner circle, saying, “We are warriors! There is not one person at this table that has not had to defend us at some point or another.” Then, referring to a specific group of guests at the wedding, he added, “At this table … the combination of powers … can make the world a better place.”

Then why haven’t you? Seriously. I think that’s a very fair question. Because I’m pretty sure what you just did was you spent an untold fortune putting together a wedding for the sake of a reality TV special, and you’re trying to write that off as you bettering the world. Nope! Although I will give him credit: At least he did acknowledge that the Kardashians aren’t a family so much as they are an industry, which I guess makes this wedding more like a business acquisition. Happy Memorial Day, everyone.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.