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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Lady Gaga wants at least three kids

Lady Gaga wants at least three kids
November 12, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga has a new album (ARTPOP) out this week, in case you missed the fifty-bajillion crazy costumes she’s worn over the past couple of weeks for publicity. Anyway, she’s upping the ante now by claiming in an interview that she really wants some kids. As in tiny people she can raise herself. I imagine this playing out a lot like The Cat In The Hat. “We’ve played all our games, and torn the house apart! If I keep talking in rhymes, would you call it art?” FishWrapper reports …

“I want to have tons of kids, actually. I think at least three. I really want to have a family and I really want to nurture my children. To be honest, having my own kids will be like having three little monsters with me all the time. They probably won’t be fans.”

Not that I don’t think she’d make a great mother, but just remember the most important rule: Art is your work, and you never mix work with family. I know, I know, it would be swell if you could rock your baby to sleep while you’re dressed in nothing but caution tape and fake menstrual blood, but therapy. Your kids will end up in therapy.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.