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Kylie and Kendall Jenner: Under investigation for underage clubbing!

Kylie and Kendall Jenner: Under investigation for underage clubbing!
October 18, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner

Earlier this week, Kylie and Kendall Jenner were caught sneaking into a 21+ sex-themed nightclub using fake IDs, because when your mom is Kris Jenner this is literally the best case scenario. Anyway, the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control is on the case now, I guess mostly to keep up appearances. Hey, they let Lindsay Lohan skate by during her trouble days, so I guess this time they’re nipping it in the bud instead of waiting around until the problem corrects itself. Via TMZ

As we reported, there are conflicting accounts about whether 17-year-old Kendall and 16-year-old Kylie used fake IDs to enter a 21-and-over L.A. nightclub Tuesday night. Kris Jenner insists they were admitted without IDs, but the manager of Vignette lounge is adamant the girls presented fake IDs at the door, and claims he didn’t even know who they were. Now, the ABC has become involved in a big way. People at the bar believe the ABC wouldn’t waste its time on some underage Joe Schmo, but since it’s the Jenner sisters … the ABC has become aggressively determined to expose the truth, which would send a loud message to underage drinkers everywhere.

Well, off the bat we already know that Kendall and Kylie really did sneak into that club because Kris said they didn’t. I don’t know how else you would argue this.

ABC: All right Ms. Jenner, explain to us again what happened that night?
Kris: My daughters definitely didn’t use a fake ID to sneak into that club.
ABC: So they did. Anything else to clarify while we’re here?
Kris: I didn’t ruin my family to get myself head.
ABC: Okay.
Kris: I didn’t sell out my kids to get rich.
ABC: All right.
Kris: I am not an evil cat skeleton brought to life through dark forces.
ABC: Yup, that sounds about right. If you’ll excuse me, I have to coordinate a tactical nuclear strike on your home.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.