Kristen Stewart is a Trampire!

Kristen Stewart

On the chance you’ve never met a Twihard, the first thing you should know is that they are INSANE. Seriously, I have an inbox in my email just for angry Twihards calling me a dumb poop-head every time I make fun of their precious sparkly vampires. Yes, one of them actually called me a poop-head. Once again: They read Twilight. Literature is clearly not their strong suit. Anyway, it should be assumed that nothing is off limits to them; if you destroy the fantasy of Edward and Bella, you’re fair game. Even if you’re Kristen Stewart, the girl who portrayed Bella and dated Robert Pattinson until she banged one of her directors. Entertainment Weekly reports …

Since the public fascination doesn’t look to be dying down anytime soon, online retailer Skreened saw a publicity moment, and is now offering a T-shirt that reads, “Kristen Stewart is a Trampire.” To round out the unofficial “We Hate Kristen” collection, there’s also “Kristen Stewart F***ing Sucks” and “F*** Kristen Stewart,” which is, of course, reminiscent of the Team Aniston and Team Jolie shirts that made a pop culture splash in 2005 — with one huge difference. While the Team Aniston/Jolie shirts were pretty dumb, they weren’t personally bullying anyone. You were just weighing in on the tabloid frenzy of the moment. “F*** Kristen Stewart” sure has a different –and crueler — ring to it. In a culture that is now hyper-aware of the effects of bullying, it seems really wrong to torment a 22-year-old, regardless of her fame level or any mistakes she may have made.

Okay, yes, personally I think the t-shirts are a little more mean than they are clever, but it’s not like Kristen’s getting a bad rap for running with scissors or something: she was publicly caught cheating on her boyfriend with a married dad. That’s pretty wrong no matter how you cut it. That, and she’s the highest-paid actress in North America right now, so at least she has that $31 Million she made last year to cushion the hatred of a bunch of teenage girls getting way to obsessed over a crappy book.

Kristen Stewart

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.