Kris Jenner is thrilled with Kim’s new publicity stunt

Wait, did I say publicity stunt? I meant boyfrie- Well, actually, no. I meant publicity stunt. ‘Boyfriend’ would entail that Kim Kardashian can actually feel things. Anyway, since Kim and Kanye West are officially a thing now, Kris Jenner has decided to announce that she’s just so thrilled with the happy new couple and all the attention they’ll bring in to each other’s lives. RadarOnline reports:

“Kris is thrilled about Kim’s new romance with Kanye,” a source close to the Kardashian family tells Radar. “She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris Humphries.” Kim’s mom has been the driving force behind her career, from encouraging her to pose nude in Playboy to managing her numerous endorsements, and this new romance is just what Kris was hoping for her daughter. “Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere,” the source says. “Kris was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multi-millionaire superstar. His money and fame are all going to benefit Kim now and she’s going to have all the perks of being his girlfriend, and her mom thinks this is going to be great for her own career.” Kris manages all of her daughters’ careers, but Kim is the most successful, and the source says she sees a golden egg with the Kanye relationship. “Kris Jenner is so happy that her daughter is dating Kanye, and she wants to make sure she maximizes all the attention Kim is going to get, as well as the financial opportunities this is going to open up for her now.”

All right, here’s the thing: When I said Kris was happy about the attention they would bring each other, rather than the love or happiness, I was just joking. Except when I wrote that joke, I was assuming that Kris was a normal human being and that she had some sort of sense of decency and priorities. Except whoops! No she doesn’t! Remember: Kris is such an awful human being, that she’s actually beyond the point of satire or parody. She’s a living goddamn joke.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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