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Kris Humphries is suing Kim Kardashian?

Kris Humphries is suing Kim Kardashian?
November 23, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

You know how for some reason, following the dissolution of Kim Kardashian‘s big fake wedding to Kris Humphries, a bunch of stories from “anonymous sources close to the story” (i.e. THE KARDASHIANS) popped up in tabloids accusing Kris of being abusive and dumb and lazy and homophobic? Well, Kris has finally decided to fight back by suing Kim for $10 Million bucks for portraying him badly on her fake reality show where everything is a lie from a whore’s mouth. Life & Style reports:

“Kris has a legal team investigating his options,” the insider tells the new issue of Life & Style. “He’s claiming his role on Kourtney & Kim Take New York is bigger than he was told, and that’s why he wants more money. But Kris is also suing because he’s really worried about how badly he’s going to be portrayed on the series.” Life & Style has learned that Kris is particularly concerned about explosive footage of him bullying Kim’s best friend Jonathan Cheban — scenes that stand to tarnish Kris’ wholesome Midwestern image. “Midway through the season, Kris starts bullying Kim’s best friend, Jonathan Cheban, about his sexuality,” shares a Kim pal. “Jonathan isn’t gay, but Kris accuses him of being gay and criticizes him for it in a really homophobic way. Jonathan is really upset.” As is Kim. “Kris used the word ‘gay’ as an insult, to try and hurt Jonathan,” an E! insider tells Life & Style. “He’s the lowest of the low bullying someone like this.” While it’s too late for him to stop the premiere from airing, Kris has retained lawyer Lee Hutton III and is trying his hardest to prevent the most inflammatory moments from being broadcast. Kris, his family and his friends maintain that much of Kris’ appearance on Kourtney & Kim was scripted — including scenes in which he ponders Jonathan’s sexuality — and that he’s not homophobic. “Little did Kris know that he was being set up,” his father, William Humphries, tells Life & Style exclusively. “Kris got used –100 percent used.”

I’m just going to say this right now: Kris Humphries is not homophobic based solely on the principle that he was portrayed as such on a show about Kim Kardashian. And as we all know, everything on one of Kim’s shows is a filthy lie for money. You have to remember that their show is filmed in Malebolge, the ninth circle of hell where liars reside, so pretty much everything she says is written beforehand by a snake whose bite causes your body to spontaneously combust and regenerate. “All right, in this scene, I want Kim and Kourtney to fight about what Kourtney said behind Kim’s back, and then – oh, wait, hold on a sec, I have to torture this thief for all eternity. Be right back! Love ya bitches!”

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries