Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Kris Jenner: Threatened with a sex tape that doesn’t exist!

Kris Jenner: Threatened with a sex tape that doesn’t exist!
March 18, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Kris Jenner

So, crazy news story here, but apparently Kris Jenner is beefing up her security detail after someone started threatening her. Here’s the weird part though: He’s threatening her with a sex tape that doesn’t exist. And Kris would know which sex tapes do and do not exist because when Kim Kardashian was first trying to get famous, Kris was the one who fil- I mean, she is a very responsible adult who stays on top of things like this. RadarOnline reports …

“At first she thought it was a joke, because she knew it couldn’t be real,” the source told Radar. “Obviously she would never allow herself to be taped like that! Initially, she just ignored it.” But it soon became clear that her tormentor would not let go so easily.

“He called Kris more than one hundred times in the last seven days, from more than 100 different phone numbers,” the source revealed. “He uses scrambled cell numbers. He called more than 25 times just yesterday (Sunday) alone! The man has been demanding money from Kris. If he’s not paid, he claims, he’ll release the tape.”

Yes, you hear that? Kris would never allow herself to be taped like that? Her daughters on the other hand … well, that depends on what kind of backend she can negotiate. Also, they retain all name rights and get 50% on any and all merchandising up to and including t-shirts, mousepads and sex towels. Now if you could just initial here, here and here, date on the line, and provide your signature along with three valid pieces of government-issued ID, we can get started.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.