At this point, it really shouldn’t come as any sort of surprise that Kris Jenner has all the parenting skills of a great white shark eating its newborn young. You could tell me that Kris keeps her kids in cages because she literally absorbs their fear and misery like plants absorb sunlight, and all I’d think is that at least she didn’t set any of them on fire. Well, now Kris is telling THR that she thinks her reality TV shows have been wonderfully educative for her kids. It’s like Baby Einstein, but for awful adults.
“We’ve created businesses and a workplace,” she insists. “It’s so funny that somebody can criticize a show like ours, and yet we employ hundreds of people. And it’s been such a great learning experience for all of my kids. It’s the best education I could offer them.”
Oh Gawd, I can just see her starting up the Kardashian Kollege (I’m sure she appreciates the irony of that name) where she’ll teach up-and-coming famewhores how to use their children for financial gain, how to cry on cue, and how to scam people using a loveless, for-attention relationship.
Kris: All right children, if you can convince some hick athlete the marry your daughter in order to sell the film rights to the wedding to E!, how long should you wait before getting them divorced for the sake of another season?
Children: Anywhere between two and three months, whenever you’re able to stash the proceeds in an off-shore account.
Kris: A+ for all you little famewhores in training!