The other day, Linda Stasi wrote a scathing review of Kris Jenner‘s new daytime talk show. Well, actually the review was entirely fair, because Kris’ show really is a f**king garbage heap, so calling it out as such isn’t so much “scathing” as it is “completely justified.” Anyway, in response to Stasi’s review, Kris allegedly sent her a Tiffany pen so that she could write a better review next time.
Does this bribe make me look fat? Kris Jenner just sent me a Tiffany pen with which to write her a better review next time!Shockingly wrong!
— linda stasi (@lindastasi) July 17, 2013
Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s really a bribe. I mean really, ooooooooh a pen. How awesome. No, I’m more inclined to assume that this is like that button from Drag Me To Hell.
Kris: Hey sis! Long time no see! How are the kids?
Lamia: FANTASTIC! I JUST LAID ANOTHER BATCH OF EGGS IN THE RIVERS OF INNOCENT BLOOD. THAT HATCHLINGS SHALL FEAST ON THE CORPSE OF HOPE.
Kris: Ha ha! That sounds nice. Kim just had her baby too! Anyway, I need you to take care of this reviewer for me …
Lamia: SAY NO MORE. HER SOUL SHALL BE FOREVER MINE IN THREE NIGHTS.
Kris: Great! Well, tell the nieces and nephews I say hi. We should do brunch sometime.
Lamia: OH, I’VE SIMPLY BEEN DYING FOR A GOOD BRUNCH. I CAN DO ANYWHERE THAT’S GLUTEN-FREE. YOU KNOW HOW WHITE FLOWER GOES STRAIGHT TO MY EIGHT THIGHS.