Kris Jenner might secretly be Joan Crawford!

Kris Jenner might secretly be Joan Crawford!
November 4, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Joan Crawford and Kris Jenner

I’ve made a lot of jokes about Kris Jenner is secretly Joan Crawford (as well as the devil / an evil spider demon / a monster who eats orphans / an example of how society rewards shameless self-promotion over actual talent) but I never actually believed she was Mommie Dearest. Well, according to RadarOnline, Kris had a “Why can’t you give me the respect that I’m entitled to?” moments when she found out her daughters weren’t watching her terrible talk show, so there you have it: Kris’s entire existence is just the premise of a campy cult-classic. How very existential.

Kris Jenner pulled out her “I Do Everything For You!” card, even shedding a few tears as she confronted daughters Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian for not supporting her recent talk show effort. It’s all part of the next episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and shows the three women along with Kourtney’s baby daddy, Scott Disick discussing Jenner’s struggling chattiest. At that point none of them had appeared on the show — they weren’t even watching it! That made Kris ever so disappointed that her family wasn’t supporting her and the tears began to flow.

In all fairness, have you seen Kris’ show? … oh, wait, of course you haven’t. That’s why it got canceled. BLAMMO! Anyway, the show was sh!t, so of course no one wanted to be on it. No one wants to sit around and pretend that Kris is a charming personality capable of caring about anyone other than herself. Also, she kept running around screaming about wire hangers, and it was … super awkward.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.