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Kris Jenner might be doing it with ‘The Bachelor’

Kris Jenner might be doing it with ‘The Bachelor’
November 27, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kris Jenner and Ben Flajnik

If you’re in the US, chances are your prepping for Thanksgiving. Well, in order to help you and make sure you don’t accidentally over eat, allow me to completely ruin your appetite by telling you about what Kris Jenner‘s vagina is doing! You’re welcome! Well, according to Us Weekly, she may or may not be f**king former Bachelor Ben Flajnik. Somewhere out there, a mortician is saving himself some trouble by filling out Ben’s death certificate in advance. “Cause of Death? Kris’ vagoo.”

Bachelor, meet your new bachelorette! Kris Jenner may still technically be married to Bruce Jenner, but the Keeping Up With the Kardashians momager has moved on with Ben Flajnik, sources reveal exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. The two began a fling shortly after the Season 16 Bachelor contestant appeared on her daytime talk show Kris in July. “They started hanging out. It got romantic right away,” an insider tells Us of when they first met. “They’ve been hooking up.” Flajnik has since denied the two are dating. “Here we go again. Hey @usweekly maybe put a call into me once and a while for some fact checking. Sincerely, #TheTruth,” he tweeted Tuesday, Nov. 26. In fact, Us did reach out to Flajnik via email on Friday, Nov. 22; he replied, “Oh, jeez, ha. I’m over this.”

You know? I can kind of believe him. So far, the skin of his face hasn’t sloughed off, and his penis doesn’t emit shrill screams in the middle of the night, so I’m guessing Kris hasn’t dug her minotaur claws into him … yet.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.