Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Kris Jenner: Khloe Kardashian isn’t getting a divorce!

Kris Jenner: Khloe Kardashian isn’t getting a divorce!
August 14, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom

It’s been almost two years since the Kardashians orchestrated their last divorce for the sake of attention, and since their staff writers can’t write any new plot lines for Kim now that she hasn’t lost enough pregnancy weight to be out in public again, I guess they figured they could brush off a plot line from a couple seasons ago. Anyway, Kris Jenner is telling TMZ that Khloé Kardashian isn’t getting a divorce from Lamar Odom, which is kind of funny because no one asked.

Jenner tells us, “Khloé and Lamar are absolutely not getting divorced. There’s been no talk of divorce.” Jenner also says both Khloé and Lamar were at her house 2 days ago and everything was fine. Other sources confirm with TMZ … Khloé has not even spoken with a divorce lawyer. Our sources say they will only comment on what they know … so they’re not calling the women who have come forward liars. But they are very clear — Khloé and Lamar are very much together and there is NO divorce.

The only problem with that statement is that (A) I think at this point, Kris would blow a goat if she thought it would get her name in a PETA newsletter, and (B) the Kardashians only have two emotions programmed into their hard drives: Seething hatred and wanton self-involvement. That makes them completely incapable of making a marriage work because that would involve them thinking about other people. Those fake pet marriages lonely old people arrange between their dogs have a better likelihood of lasting than a Kardashian marriage.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.