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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Kris Jenner is still trying to get Kim Kardashian to sell North West’s baby pictures

Kris Jenner is still trying to get Kim Kardashian to sell North West’s baby pictures
July 5, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kim Karadashian

Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian are still teasing the release of Kim’s baby pics of North West and waiting for the perfect million-dollar offer, which … really? They’re baby pictures. All babies pretty much look exactly the same. Unless your kid’s pictures magically cure cancer or turn laughter into food, they’re not worth that much money. Anyway, Kim was supposed to go to her “friend” (AHAHAHAHAHA!) Beyoncé‘s concert the other night, but Kris reportedly blocked her until they sold the baby pictures, and — actually, you know what? Just read the blurb from RadarOnline, then try to convince me they didn’t plant this one themselves.

Cooped up in her family’s mansion since she got home from the hospital with new baby, North, Kim Kardashian DESPERATELY wanted to get out to see her friend Beyoncé perform when her world tour hit L.A. recently and baby daddy Kanye West was only too happy to take her, but momager Kris Jenner put her foot down. There is no going out of the house until she’s finished brokering the deal for the first baby pics, RadarOnline is exclusively reporting. “Kanye was up for taking Kim to one of Beyoncé’s shows. Her Mrs. Carter Show World Tour was at Staples Center June 28 and July 1 and Kim was definitely ready to get out. It was Kris who talked her out of it because there is no way Kim would not have been seen and photographed and that would have driven down the price on the official photos, a family insider tells Radar.

First off, Beyoncé? Kim’s friend? Yeah, you can really tell they planted this one themselves. If anyone else released this story, Beyoncé would be billed as “Kim’s mortal nemesis.” Either way, it’s nice to see that motherhood hasn’t softened the Kardashians’ innate ability to turn everyday life into an monopolistic famewhoring opportunity. Tune in tomorrow when Kim accidentally breaks a toenail after stubbing her toe on the bedframe, and then immediately sells the broken toenail shard on eBay.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.