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Of course Kris Jenner’s split isn’t amicable

Of course Kris Jenner’s split isn’t amicable
October 11, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner

Ever since Kris Jenner split from Bruce Jenner, the narrative has been that the separation is amicable and everything is fine and yadda yadda endless stream of frothing bullsh!t spewing out of the bullsh!t hole on Kris’ cat-face. Except according to RadarOnline, the whole thing is allegedly one huge lie that Kris is trying to pull to convince everyone she isn’t secretly the second coming of Zuul, who has traipsed into our world to devour the souls of dumb teenagers who can’t tell fiction from reality.

“Don’t believe one word coming out of Kris Jenner’s mouth. She has lied to America for the past year when she constantly denied her marriage to Bruce Jenner was in trouble, and that they had split up. They already had, but she continued the lies,” a family insider told Radar.

“Is anybody ever going to hold her accountable for her lies? The reason the family does the reality shows is to let the public get a glimpse of their lives, but it’s all scripted and planned out in advance. When a few media outlets (including Radar) reported earlier this year that Kris and Bruce were finished, the Kardashian PR spin machine went into overdrive to squash the truth.”

“He can’t stand her, and Kris thinks Bruce is boring. Someone needs to hold Kris responsible for the lies she tells the American public. She needs to take an on-camera lie detector test so the public can really see what she is really all about.”

In closing our insider added, “America needs to stop drinking the Kardashian Kool-Aid!”

Of course it’s not amicable. Can you imagine spending 22-years of your life waking up to Kris every day? Having to use a mirror to peer around corners, less you gaze into her eyes and turn to stone? Having to explain to the maids why the bathtub is full of blood and how they can’t tell anyone what they’ve seen or The Beast will impale them on one of her mandibles? No one should be forced to live like that, good for Bruce, he’s finally free!

PHOTO | FAME/FLYNET

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.