Having successfully run her maiden name into the ground thanks to terrible celebrity endorsements and just generally being a colossal attention whore, Kim Kardashian has decided to change her name to Kim Humphries once she’s married, I’m guessing because “Kim Humphries uses Thalidomide brand baby food!” has a nice, fresh take on things. Oh, and naturally her mom, Kris Kardashian, is freaking out because now she can’t use her daughter to get herself attention. Dammit!
That’s right — sources close to Kim are adamant … the most famous Kardashian of them all will “for sure” take NBA star Kris Humphries’ last name when the couple ties the knot this summer. Which might piss off Kim’s mom, Kris Jenner — who recently told Popeater.com, “I don’t think she should take his name and be Kim Humphries … She needs to be Kim Kardashian because she’s worked so hard to get where she is.” SOURCE
… By which she means “I’ve worked so hard to turn my daughter a profitable commodity instead of a human being.” Actually, since Kim is the most famous of the sisters, Kris could always just change her last name too. Except then her name would be Kris Humphries, which is the exact same name as the guy Kim is marrying and that would be … actually, no, I’m pretty sure Kris would love that. No, seriously, am I the only person who is completely freaked the fuck out about that?
PS Despite the rumors, Kim Kardashian is NOT pregnant, but I’m sure she will be soon!