Kim Kardashian: The Princess and The Pee

Presumably, because she saw all the attention Prince William and Kate Middleton got for their wedding, Kim Kardashian is determined to get married in an English castle. No totally, because her last fairytale wedding went so well, right? Contact Music reports …

Although the reality TV star is still legally married to Kris Humphries she is reportedly already planning her nuptials to boyfriend Kanye West and wants a huge English event to rival that of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. A source said: ”Kim would love to wed at Westminster Abbey like William and Catherine, but that won’t be possible. Instead she’s been looking at castles near London. She wants the most spectacular wedding and she’s talking about having guests like Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Rihanna and Katy Perry arrive in horse drawn carriages – just like the royal wedding.”

No, this totally works. It’s just like the story of The Princess and The Pee!

Once upon a time, there was a vaguely human-like column of meat and silicone named Princess Kim. Princess Kim was sad because, even though her parents had lots of money, she wasn’t famous. So one day, a magical prince peed on her, and she turned into … well, nothing, but after she sold the video tape of the prince peeing on her, people were paying attention to her. And then she married and divorced another prince, and people paid even more attention to her! So finally, Princess Kim married an equally ego-maniacal jackass and they imploded in a vortex of unwarranted self-importance, sending them to a dark dimension forever and ever. And everyone else lived happily ever after. The end!

Kim Kardashian

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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