… and by “forever”, I mean “about four months, tops”. Anyway, on Kim’s Fairytale Wedding (which really should have been called Slutty Assbeast Shrieks Like A Demonic Harpy For Four Hours, but I guess that’s why I’m not an E! Executive) Kris Humphries farts in Kim Kardashian‘s face, and then they get into a fight because Kim doesn’t want to change her last name to Humphries because being a Kardashian is a major business, rather than a family. Us Weekly reports:
After Kim broke the news that she wasn’t going to change her last name to Humphries, the duo finally reached their boiling point. “I just wish that you would be a little bit more down to earth about the wedding process,” Humphries said.
“I live in a different world. I was definitely raised in a different world than like — yeehaw! — Minnesota, and that’s fine,” Kardashian said.
“Four years ago you sold clothes in a boutique in the Valley,” Humphries snapped, referring to Kardashian’s work in retail at her D-A-S-H store in Calabasas, Calif. “Now, like all the sudden, you’re miss princess!”
“You knew what you were getting into, with my work ethic,” she said. “Keeping the Kardashian name is a business decision. If you don’t understand that, then that’s a problem for me.”
Because really, this is all Kim’s marriage (and her entire life) is: one carefully calculated business plan meant to sell you nothing for everything. There’s no real substance to Kim. She’s just neat little package you can buy and play with for a little while. I’d say that I hope her marriage tanks because she’s an opportunistic skank who married for the sake of a buck rather than love, but I’m afraid she’d just turn that into another TV show. So we can all look forward to Kim’s Fairytale Divorce, coming this spring to E!