If you grew up in the suburbs, chances are that at some point during your growing up, you were invited to a Halloween party or otherwise you went to visit one of those “haunted houses” where you would be blindfolded and forced to stick your hand into a bucket of cold spaghetti that was meant to be “guts”. Of course, this would freak you out, assuming you never knew what spaghetti felt like or had a complete misunderstanding of human anatomy. I bring this up, because Kim Kardashian let English comedian and television personality Alan Carr feel her ass, which I’m guessing must have been like trying to finger bang one of those inflatable neck pillows you use while traveling. Us Weekly reports:
“I would love a bum like yours,” host Alan Carr, 35, told the buxom E! reality star. “If I had a bum like yours I would walk in to a room backwards. How honored are you when people say you have the best bum in the world?”
Kardashian admitted that “it’s weird to think of yourself like that, but I do work out all the time. I also think it’s like an Armenian thing; it runs in the family, and we are all really curvy. So I thank my roots for giving me a big butt!”
After explaining that her butt is all real — “no implants!” — Kardashian invited Carr to check it out for himself. “You know what a real butt feels like, right?” Kardashian laughed, as Carr placed his hand on her famous derriere.
“Not like this!” is what I imagine he said without missing a beat. Of course he knows what a real ass feels like; he’s a gay. We can see the price tag hanging out of Kim’s hidey-hole from across the room. Look, there’s nothing wrong with plastic surgery, but there is something wrong with getting a little cosmetic help and pretending that you have good genes. That would be like George Lucas decrying CGI before claiming that everything in the Star Wars prequels were just realistic costumes. “Jar Jar Binks? That was a rabbit we shaved and taught to walk on its hind legs. We put it down immediately after filming. It felt … right.”