Kim Kardashian isn’t real enough for Jenny Craig

Like most people, when Kim Kardashian first realized she was pregnant, her first thought was, “Well that’s all fine and dandy, but how can I milk this fetus for money and attention?” So of course, rumors have been going around of Kim possibly signing on with a weight-loss program, like Jessica Simpson did. Except according to TMZ, Jenny Craig won’t consider signing her because she’s not real enough.

Reps for Jenny Craig and Medifast tell TMZ they won’t be be helping Kim K shed her post-baby weight — and their reason, ironically enough, is the reality TV star isn’t real enough. Medifast said it’s not looking for any celeb endorsements — but Jenny Craig was more specific, telling us they’re … focusing on “real results for real women” this year. Interestingly, JC’s rep added, “We will continue our working relationship with Mariah Carey.”

Well of course Kim isn’t real enough for a weight-loss program; I mean hell, if you want to make two hundred pounds of silicone weigh one-thirty, all you have to do is whittle off 35% of it and shape it like a person. That doesn’t count as weight loss. Hell, that barely counts as arts and crafts. What I’m trying to say is, if you filled a ball gown with scarab beetles, it would still approximate a real human woman more than Kim.

Kim Kardashian

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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