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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Kim Kardashian decides to slow it down for the sake of her unborn baby

Kim Kardashian decides to slow it down for the sake of her unborn baby
March 19, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kim Kardashian

Earlier this month, Kim Kardashian had a “miscarriage scare” (which I’m going to assume was Kardashian for “it’s sweeps week”) at which point doctors told her maybe she shouldn’t be flying around the world non-stop while working out at the gym so that she could stay skinny. So of course, here’s Kim telling Extra that she’s going to slow down now, which I’m sure her fetus appreciates.

Showing off her baby bump in leather and lace, Kim told Extra’s Jerry Penacoli about the night she was rushed to a doctor because she feared losing her baby. “It’s hard when a lot is changing in your body and you get sick and you are traveling and so much is going on,” Kardashian revealed. “[I’m going to slow down] a little bit… it’s not easy being pregnant, I have to tell you. “ The baby books aren’t helping either. “I get nervous with all of the baby books,” said the 31-year-old. “They freak me out. I am not going to lie.”

On one hand, I guess kudos to her for realizing that pregnancy is not the time to start dieting and working out like a fitness model. On the other hand, yesterday she told everyone about the time she and her sisters had a vagina sniffing competition, so I’m just going to assume that child protective services will be there during her delivery to immediately hand the poor kid off to a better family. “Push Kim, just one more push aaaaaaaaaaand … all right, let’s get the kid out of here before Kris Jenner picks up the scent. We distracted her with a very realistic Cabbage Patch Kid, but that will only last for so – SHE’S BREACHED THE PERIMETER! RUN!”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.