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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Of course Kim Kardashian’s delivery was filmed!

Of course Kim Kardashian’s delivery was filmed!
June 19, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner

The Kardashians have been trying to spin Kim Kardashian‘s pregnancy as a natural, not-staged-for-attention event for months now, which is hilarious because absolutely no one believed that horsesh!t. Are you kidding me? E! probably has a warehouse full of tapes of the Kardashians having violent diarrhea that they’re holding onto until the FCC gives them the green light. Anyway, in case you were wondering just how much of a publicity ploy all this was, RadarOnline reports that momager-in-large Kris Jenner did film Kim’s delivery this past weekend, but only for family use. (The family can use it in one of their awful reality TV shows, right? Of course they can and will!)

Baby daddy, Kanye had been adamant that no cameras be permitted in the delivery room, but that didn’t stop them from trying! “The camera crew did attempt to accompany Kim into the hospital,” the insider said. “When Kanye arrived, he told them to get lost, which they did. Kanye didn’t want this precious moment to be documented for TV.”

So who filmed inside the delivery room: Kim’s mom! “Kim’s momager, Kris, who was in the delivery room, filmed portions of it for family viewing only,” the insider said. “Kanye told Kris when she could film.”

Of course Kris filmed it herself. A couple years back, the Kardashian matriarch underwent an operation to have her ocular nerves and eyeballs replaced with HD cameras. At the end of the day, Kris goes over to E! to upload the contents of her brain onto their servers. “What a wonderful day full of famewhoring. Anyone else feeling a tad peckish? There’s a poorly guarded orphanage on the way home, I’m sure they wouldn’t noticed if a few kids went missing. *Clicks mandibles together*”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.