Kim Kardashian: The Philippines get 10% … I get 90%!

Kim Kardashian: The Philippines get 10% … I get 90%!
November 25, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian has done a lot of really amoral, money-hungry bullsh!t over the years: As you’ll remember, this is the person who vowed to donate all the wedding gifts from her big fake sham wedding to charity, only to instead sell them off and buy Rolex watches for her family instead. Well, her charitable spirit continues onward, because she’s now selling personal items to raise money for typhoon relief in the Philippines. Except it turns out she’s only donating 10% of the proceeds to the Philippines and keeping 90% of it for herself. The Gloss reports …

Since she is extremely rich and famous, the auctions are pretty much guaranteed to net a whole lot of money. But in her announcement, Kardashian failed to mention that only 10 percent of the auction proceeds were actually going to charity. Kim’s keeping the other 90 percent. Boo.

Kim Kardashian is estimated to have a net worth of at least $40 million and growing, and she’s engaged to Kanye freaking West. The couple spent a million dollars on gold toilets for their horrible mansion in L.A. If Kim wants to pat herself on the back for her “very special auction,” she should be giving all the proceeds to charity. You don’t get a Nobel Peace Prize for checking the little, “Give 10% to charity” button on the EBay listing tool.

Look, we get it: Kim is scum. She’s trash. She barely counts as a mammal. She’s beneath excrement. She is a vile, soul-sucking, horrible excuse for a human being with no redeeming qualities who, in a just universe, would have been fired out of a cannon into the cold recesses of space. But you know what? We already know that Kim. We already know that you’re the personification of the worst aspects of the American dream. All we ask of you now is that if you’re going to be disgusting blackhole of self-importance, at least don’t pretend you care about anyone but yourself. If you want to bilk stupid people out of their money? Fine. But don’t use charity to do it, you venomous monster.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.