WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Ke$ha is a bastion of rational advice

Ke$ha is a bastion of rational advice

If you haven’t seen it by now, Teen Mom famewhore Jenelle Evans showed the kind of brilliant decision making you’d expect from someone on Teen Mom by choosing to go to jail over a year of probation, and then had a melt down when she realized she’d miss a Ke$ha concert. Yes, seriously. If this dumb scrotum had to fend for herself for any more than five minutes, she’d probably end up being eaten by wolves. Anyway, HuffPo thought it would be a good idea to ask Ke$ha for advice on this, and somehow she managed to make this so much worse than it already was.

HuffPo: Have you seen this episode of Teen Mom, where a woman who’s due in jail begs her lawyer to keep her out until she can attend one of your shows? What’s your reaction to that?

Ke$ha: She is the reason I do what I do. Go grrrl don’t let the man hold you down! We R Who We R!!!!

Oh Ke$ha, what you lack in basic grammatical skills, you make up for in absolutely nothing else. But seriously, did Ke$ha just tell a teenage mother to shirk her responsibilities as both a parental figure and a human being because rules are hard? Nicely done, everyone. I sincerely hope all parties involved here are devoured from the inside out by angry scorpions.

Ke$ha