Katy Perry and Russell Brand got hitched!

Katy Perry and Russell Brand got hitched!
October 25, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

It finally happened! Katy Perry and Russell Brand got married, or as it’s known in Hollywood, pre-divorced. Just kidding. This means that for those of you who love long, flowing black hair, a slender womanly figure and unabashed feminine beauty, we’re sorry: Russell is no longer on the market. ZING!

A Christian minister and longtime friend of Perry’s family performed a “private and spiritual ceremony,” which was attended by family members and close friends, said the statement released by the couple’s representatives. “The backdrop was the inspirational and majestic countryside of Northern India,” said the statement, which did not provide any further details on the ceremony. SOURCE

The men don’t really have to worry about this, because you can still masturbate to one of Katy Perry’s music videos (on mute) even if she is married. But sorry ladies, it looks like you’re just going to have to find another pasty, effeminate Brit to moon over. On the plus side, I hear Robert Pattinson is still unmarried.