You know what we haven’t talked about in a while? Katy Perry‘s massive boobs. So here she is talking about them to GQ magazine (she’s the February 2014 cover girl), and she’ll have you know that not only are they real, but she got them from God him / her / shlerself. YES REALLY.
“I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, ‘God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can’t see my feet when I’m lying down?’ ” At age 11, “God answered my prayers,” she says, glancing south. “I had no clue they would fall into my armpits eventually.”
Huh, so that really works? For some reason, I just picture him sitting on a cloud up in the sky, hand-crafting boobs while taking a billion orders at once. “Look, one at a time, okay? Do you have any idea how complicated the cellular structure of the human body is? Not to mention the cardio-vascular system you have to set up, the ability to lactate, nerve-endings … look, making these things is way harder than you’d think, YOU’RE GONNA GET THEM WHEN YOU GET THEM. Quit rushing me!”