Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached an agreement!

Barely a week after Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise in order to keep her daughter Suri Cruise off of Scientology’s magical brain-washing/slavery cruise ship bonanza (no homos allowed) it looks like the two have finally reached an agreement. Namely: Katie is taking the kid and running and Tom will continue being delusional. People magazine reports:

“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life. This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California. We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.”

Gee, I wonder what kind of dirt Katie had over Tom to allow this? Because it’s not like there’s a long and storied history of Scientology and Tom being absolutely bananas crazy in a way that would make any court scream “NO KIDS FOR YOU!” None whatsoever.

Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise and Tom Cruise

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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