Kate Winslet married Ned RocknRoll

We got word today that Kate Winslet (37) married fellow Brit Ned RocknRoll (34) earlier this month, and yes, that’s his real name, after he legally changed it from Abel Smith. This new union marks Kate’s third (and hopefully final) trip down the aisle. Slow clap. SLOW. CLAP HUNTY. Us Weekly reports …

Academy Award winner Kate Winslet has wed Ned RocknRoll in a secret ceremony, Us Weekly can exclusively confirm. The Titanic actress, 37, married the fellow Brit, 34, “in early December in New York,” according to a source. “They were surrounded by a small group of friends and close family members.”

UPDATE: Winset’s UK rep Sara Keene tells Us: “I can confirm that Kate Winslet married Ned RocknRoll in NY earlier this month in a private ceremony attended by her two children and a very few friends and family. The couple had been engaged since the summer.” The two were first linked in the fall of 2011, though neither has mentioned an engagement.

I’m not even going to make a joke here, because bitch, that is the most sickening name ever. You know that if you were able to get away with it, you would change your name to ROCKNROLL. In fact, how is this guy not a super hero? (He also happens to be Richard Branson‘s nephew) This guy is my new hero. Move over Harvey Milk, because here comes NED ROCKNROLL. But in all seriousness, I really hope Kate keeps her own name, because the phrase, “and the Oscar goes to KATE ROCKNROLL” shall never be uttered by anyone.

Kate Winslet and Ned RockNRoll

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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