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Kanye West might be in some trouble

Kanye West might be in some trouble
January 17, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Kanye West

About a week ago, Kanye West beat the ever-loving hell out of some little racist kid, and the world was thrust into the uncomfortable place of kind of being on board with what Kanye did, but at the same time acknowledging that maybe going around doling out vigilante justice might not be the best way. Anyway, while we all kind of assumed that Kanye would get off scot-free, turns out he may be in some trouble here. First off, turns out no one at the scene of the incident heard the kid ever threaten to kill Kim Kardashian, as she so claimed. RadarOnline reports …

Kim has claimed that the young man “threatened to kill her, and she was fearful for her life,” a source told RadarOnline, but “there are no witnesses that can substantiate Kim’s claims that heard the threat. “Kim hasn’t filed an official police report yet, but it will be very interesting if she does, because cops want to question her about what she saw and heard when Kanye entered the office, and allegedly began hitting him. If Kim was in such fear for her life, why did she call her fiancee and not the cops? She could have — and should have — done that instead of Kanye seeking some sort of vigilante justice.”

Okay, so one part of the story doesn’t check out. We always kind of figured that Kim was full of sh!t anyway, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the story is fake, right? Well, now Kanye has flown off to Paris, so yeah, he might be in some trouble here.

Kanye West is currently at the center of a felony assault and battery investigation after allegedly attacking a teen in Beverly Hills earlier this week, but he looked as if he didn’t have a care in the world as he partied in Paris on Thursday. His fiancée Kim Kardashian was back home with daughter North West in L.A., but that certainly didn’t put a damper on his mood as he danced the night away at the “Been Trill” party at Club 79 on Rue de la Montaigne.

Of course, Kanye already got off without a hitch the last time he got into a physical altercation, so there’s no real reason to think anything bad will happen to him. So who knows? Maybe he just wanted to duck out for a bit to Paris and not have to deal with Kim for a while. “What’s that honey? You need my team to photoshop your selfies again? Sure, just a second … all right kid, so you throw around the N-word, I come and beat you, and then you get five grand and I get out of this pit of horrors. Deal? Deal. Now if you’ll excuse me, my team needs to make Kim look human-shaped.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.